Once You’ve Worked Retail, They Can Smell It On You

A couple of weeks ago I was at my local Target to buy hair dye. I was in the midst of my “Hazbin Hotel” hyperfixation, so I had headphones in and head bopping to the soundtrack. The employee dress code is pretty lax there, but I wasn’t wearing a vest, and my outfit was a little unprofessional regardless. I like to stick to a more edgy/alternative aesthetic, so I was wearing baggy cargo pants, a T-shirt for the band “Ghost”, a nightmare-style “Alice In Wonderland” button-down, spiky jewelry, and intense makeup — thick black “tears” and big wings. Oh, and I was wearing four-inch heels. Yeah, I can strut and dance and whatnot in these shoes, but I am not willing to do a work shift at any job wearing those torture devices, not that I’d be allowed to regardless.

Yet, as soon as I turned into the hair dye aisle, I made eye contact with an older woman, and she immediately beelines straight to me. She said something to me, so I took out a headphone, already slightly annoyed having to pause my music.

Woman: “You work here! Where is the baby powder?”

I kind of stared at her for a second.

Me: “No idea. I don’t work here.”

But she insisted.

Woman: “Of course you do!”

Me: “Ma’am, I haven’t worked here since 2019. And they remodeled the entire store in 2022. I don’t know where baby powder is. I had to buy bed sheets two months ago, and it took me nearly ten minutes to find them!”

She got huffy as if I’d committed some terrible crime against her. (I’m sure she feels that way.)

Honestly, it just reminds me why I never want to work there again (and trust me, I have been asked to).